Dating a newly recovered alcoholic
“Normies don't seem to be as self-obsessed as guys in AA, but maybe that is just my experience,” she says.
She also finds that leaving behind your addict identity can be helpful.“The pros are that you can reinvent who you are and not just be ‘an addict,’” Sam says.
You have to set it above all other things, even above things such as family, love, relationships, religion, and so on. If you do not commit absolutely, then you will most certainly relapse.
Everything gets bumped a notch down as your new, most important mission in life is to “not use drugs or alcohol today no matter what.”This is the first action step of any long term recovery plan. But the idea of having a zero tolerance policy towards relapse does much more than just prevent relapse.
After using alcohol as our main coping mechanism for years and years, the challenge in early sobriety is to learn how to life our live without using self medicating as a crutch.
When you first get clean and sober, maintaining abstinence needs to become your number one priority in life. Failure to grasp the idea of the zero tolerance policy results in relapse.
“Listen, before we do this, I need to tell you something...”I agree.
Nothing is cut and dry, and love is messy wherever you find it.It takes a lot of work and a lot of time to squelch it in all its myriad forms.Sam is in a seven-month relationship with a “normie,” and it’s going really well.Natasha says, “The main con is that it is guaranteed that this person has a ton of hang-ups and emotional baggage.They may well be using other ways to 'act out' now that using or drinking is off the table.”My own experience with the program is that other addictions sometimes run rampant, morphing into other areas of their lives. Many people, when they finally get sober, develop issues with food, gambling, sex, and spending.
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You can tell them, “I’ve been in six rehabs, four psych wards, and I’ve been arrested for assault.” And, they’re like, “Of course you have.” The downside is that they, too, are often a ticking time bomb.