Dating again at 35 pull and push strategy in dating
"You have to put in the time, effort and energy—even when you feel like throwing in the towel or avoiding it altogether," says Steinberg."And that means not just getting out there dating, but really understanding what and who you are looking for on a deeper level, and not the superficial stuff."Translation: You might think "not settling" means holding out for the tall, dark-haired Gosling who runs his own company and is perfect in every way, but what do you really ? Chance meetings might be romantic in the moment, but a guy with attributes to complement yours is romantic long-term.Most of us are probably a bit romantic about potential partners in our 20s.Maybe we'll meet a brooding, handsome stranger in a coffee shop, or some witty guy will approach us at the neighborhood bar one night.CEO of a successful start-up, with your young-adult novel trilogy being turned into movies by your 35th birthday? It's great to, well, lean in—but many thirty-something women will admit that time seems to rapidly accelerate when in your 30s.
Don't beat yourself over those mistakes, says Steinberg.Women who want love and family tend to start wondering how they will fit it all in, while still killin' it in their careers.With a few mindset changes, it's possible to have it all (even if it's not all at once)—but this starts with tweaking your approach to dating and relationships.The less time you spend with a dead-end dude, the more room you'll have to pace the relationship with a guy who seems like a potential winner."You don't want to rush the process with him," says Steinberg. Make a date with yourself for a cup of coffee or glass of wine, grab a notebook, and take stock of your behaviors in your 20s.
Search for dating again at 35:
Maybe you'll take a slightly lesser position to be closer to family, or scale back on those 60-hour workweeks to devote more time to your relationship life."Carpenter says pick one or two categories or goals that you really want to devote yourself to, and put the majority of the emphasis there.