When to start dating after a separation
They met young and had totally different views on everything.
He spent 10 years saying, “well maybe after (insert life event) happens, things will get better.” They did counseling, they tried having a bunch of reconnecting vacations, all kinds of stuff.
Post separation is an emotional roller coaster and thinking you’ve mourned fully during the marriage is a sure sign that you are not very far down the path of emotional recovery. Those people may also be on the rebound, they may be narcissists that specifically look for vulnerable women, but healthy people want to be with someone that has some distance from their marriage.
It is natural to be curious about what is out there and to desperately crave love and passion after a bad marriage. My advice is to go to counseling, take a few months to sort out the legal stuff and then, once the legal stuff is signed and dealt with, date.
I won’t date anyone unless the paperwork is signed (divorce final is preferred) and they have been separated for at least a year.
If you want sex, find a friend with benefits that is in a similar place as you and is also not in the right place for a committed relationship.
Which is why I want to tell you in the kindest, most non-professional way possible, that you can do WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT right now.
which is hard to come by for people like us- his passion is farming and he owns a farm, I am an outdoors girl who loves to get my hands dirty and spent years working on a farm (different type, but still a farm).family is not into farming, I just have always persued it and wanted it for future- the XW was an “inside girl” (just saying) He started talking about wanting to marry me about 3 months into our relationship. We did have a minor hiccup when the papers got written up and he took a week to grieve/reflect on the demise of his marriage (he was sure that he had finished grieving through the marriage counseling a year before, but they were still living together at the time), then he came back and our relationship is stronger than ever.But all of that mourning tells you nothing about readiness to date. And, as a newly separated person, emotionally healthy people will avoid you.In fact, if someone gives me that line, it is a sure sign that the person is on the rebound. That means you are most likely going to date other emotionally unhealthy people.My friends are still (months later) telling me that I need to watch out and that I cannot possibly be the one for him since we met right out of the gate.The thing is this: We are both in our early 30’s…I have never been married, he was married for 5 years, together for 10.